Hayzee’s Book Club

Whenever you are in the business of development, you need to make sure you are paying attention to your own development. I heard from a coach that "if you are not getting better, you're getting worse." One thing I have tried to be more conscious of as I have aged is paying attention to reading. I am not a person that sneaks away to my favorite chair and lets the warm sun cascade over me as I read a few chapters in my latest book. Furthest thing from it. I, like many of this age, spend way too much time on my phone. I get my information micro-dosed to me through apps and social media with the next stimulus a swipe or scroll away. I do however schedule 30 minutes of my day to the process of reading. Just like exercise or shooting 100 pucks for a player, one must have a plan and be intentional toward it if they wish to see growth. I am no different.

 I was watching one of my favorite movies the other day, “Wedding Crashers." In this 2005 comedy, 2 life long friends, John Beckwith (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn) spend their summers crashing weddings. While their motives are questionable at best, their imagination and commitment to pulling off these "crashes" is applaudable. If you have never seen it, the title really gives it away. Vaughn & Wilson are an excellent team in this film as they create fictitious personas with elaborate backstories to take part in these weddings and meet single ladies. While no one at the wedding can ever quite pin point how they know them, these two are usually the life of the party. If you have seen this movie you understand. This was peak Vince Vaughn era and I went and saw everything he put out. From leads in Old School and Dodgeball to his supporting roles in Starsky & Hutch, Anchorman and Mr & Mrs. Smith. I was driving the Vince Vaughn bandwagon. His facial expressions and line delivery, "John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here," ate me up. Still lol when I watch this flick and it has Bradley Cooper, one of my favorite actors, as the villain-Sack Lodge. As the movie progresses, the biggest “crash” of their career appears as the Secretary of The United States Treasury, William Cleary’s (Christopher Walken) eldest daughter will walk down the aisle in the “Super Bowl” of weddings. Hilarity unfolds as Wilson falls for the sister of the bride, Rachel McAdams, the current girlfriend of sleaze bag Sack Lodge. Vaughn ends up with the other sister, a "stage five clinger" played by Isla Fisher. It's hard to believe this movie is 20 years old next year. Where does the time go?!

 Inspiration comes in all forms I suppose and a certain line in the movie lead me down the rabbit hole I arrived at today.  When speaking of their back stories, Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson go back and forth on aliases and cover stories so they can maximize their opportunities at these festivities.  Always requiring an immense amount of planning and strict adherence to the “Sacred Rules of Wedding Crashing” passed down to them by the originator of the wedding crash, Chazz Reinhold (Will Ferrell). Rule #32-You don’t commit to a relative unless you are absolutely positive they have a pulse or Rule #76-No excuses. Play like a champion. These two go back and forth with laughs coming in bunches as they regale single women with tales of playing for the New York Yankees, owning Vermont based maple syrup conglomerates and running non profit businesses that support the needy (Holy Shirts & Pants.) Wilson & Vaughn are first ballot Hall of Famers in the art of wedding crashing and John Beckwith’s (Wilson) declaration of being “a charter member of Oprah’s Book Club” was the lightbulb that landed me here for this edition of “Deep-ish Thoughts.”

As I spoke of earlier, reading has never been one of my favorite things. Early on in my high school career at Brocklehurst Secondary School in Kamloops B.C, I was lead by some of the finest English teachers my school had to offer. Mr. Turner, Mr. Andrews and Mr. Stobie were all amazing teachers that taught me to appreciate the art of the written word. I just had no desire to dedicate the time to the practice of reading. That was pre-internet and early adoption of the home computer in the early 90’s. For context, during that chapter of life, I hand wrote most reports (sometimes in cursive) and had to attach bibliographies to all my essays. When we were tasked with reading some of the age appropriate staples of the time, my heart didn’t burn to crack open the book and dive head first into it. Whether it was Harper Lee’s “To Kill a Mockingbird” or William Golding’s “Lord of the Flies,” my literary fire was not ablaze to reading. I was in early high school where playing hockey, hanging with friends in Kristi Plato’s basement like "That 70's Show" and roaming the north side of Tranquille Road was about all we really wanted to do. It wasn’t until my first year playing professional in 2000-01 and spending silly amounts of time traveling that I actually started reading for pleasure. I mean, I was well versed in Maxim magazine and FHM in those times as they were staples in every early 20 males’ rotation. One of our veteran players, Steve Lindgren, introduced me to James Patterson novels and those paperbacks were at every airport. I went on following Alex Cross through all his adventures in the world of forensic science before coming across the first Harry Potter novel by J.K. Rowling. After traveling with Harry, Hermione and Ron to Hogwarts and following intently as they saved the day from the “one who shall not be named,” I was hooked. I read them as quickly as I could get my hands on them and would count the days until the first movie was slated to open in theaters. This was pre-smartphone with the only real mobile phone entertainment coming by playing “Snake” on my old Nokia.

So I thought I would share some titles that I enjoy and may help you navigate the hockey world a little better. When I read now, I read to get better. I read to educate myself and to develop into the best version of myself I can be. Very seldom do I read fiction and I mostly read books with a sports background. A lot of these titles I will write about have been passed along to me by one person or another. Usually people from my hockey circles or in our business circles. Folks that lead groups of people as part of their responsibilities in their professional lives and people that want to maximize the most of themselves. I hope these recommendations may help you in some way and have the type of impact they have had on me.

 Legacy-James Kerr  Purchase on Amazon

This is one of my favorite books ever. I was introduced to this book by a friend in hockey and it's a book I go back to over and over. In this deep dive behind the curtain of world class sport, Kerr explores the culture behind the winningest rugby team in the world, the New Zealand All Blacks. It is the template of “leaving the jersey in a better place” and leads the reader down the road of 15 practical lessons for leadership. From insights like “sweeping the sheds” to their deep belief in “no d#%kheads." This group embodies the highest standard needed to become a dominant world champion. They always put the team before the person and one of my favorite quotes by Coach Steve Hansen really captures the essence of who they try to be. “Put your hand in a glass of water. Now take it out. That’s how hard it is to replace you.” Harsh to some but real and direct to others. A primary reason this book is so widely regarded by people who look to develop culture and unity. I remember watching a game the Florida Panthers played a few years ago. During the post game celebration, when they awarded their own player of the game, they presented the winner with an All Blacks jersey. The inspiration? Head coach Bob Boughner credited this book as the "why" behind this particular award. The New Zealand Herald recognized this as well and ran their own article on it. Strong enough reason for me to read the book. The part I really tried to pay attention to was that there are no small roles on world championship teams. Nothing exemplified being part of this group like the gift you receive when you make the squad. “When a player makes the All Blacks, they’re given a book. A small black book bound in fine leather and beautiful to hold. The first page shows a jersey, that of the 1905 Originals, the team that began this long whakapapa. On the next page is another jersey, that of the 1924 Invincibles, and on the page after, another jersey, and another, and so on until present day. The next few pages of the All Blacks handbook remind you of the principles, the heroes, the values, the standards, the code of honor, the ethos, the character of the team. The rest of the pages are blank. Waiting to be filled. It’s time to make your mark they say. Your contribution. It’s time to leave a legacy. Your legacy. It’s your time.” This book is invaluable to anyone who is a position where they lead people or are trying to establish a high performing culture. Want to help your youngster in hockey? Give this a read and have your highlighter ready. 

 Wooden-Coach John Wooden with Steve Jamison Purchase on Amazon

My father gave me this book years and years ago. Before I ever even dreamed of becoming a hockey coach. He had read it and saw the value to pass it along to me.  A man of Wooden’s stature and impact can be difficult to comprehend, especially in the era he achieved his success. A coach who lead UCLA to 10 National titles in 12 years, developed players like Kareem Abdul-Jabar and Bill Walton and was named coach of the century by ESPN. His soft touch and deep belief in his own personal value system allowed him to build one of the greatest dynasties in college sports. “Coach gained respect with a very simple method: his personal example. He worked harder, longer, smarter, and was more dedicated, loyal, concerned, caring, detailed, meticulous and enthusiastic than anyone I have ever worked with.” When you sit down to read this book it’s like sitting down and speaking to a grandparent. The wisdom and gentleness that this book reads with reminds me of sitting down with Grandpa Hay and sucking on a Werthers Original while he would tell us tales of the "olden days." Wooden lead great teams and created successful cultures because of his dedication to service. Understanding how firm he was in the “simple things” helps you better look at why his teams were able to achieve the things that they did. Famously beginning every new season with a lesson on how to put your socks on under your shoes to avoid blisters, this man was a mastermind in the fundamentals. Coach had a deep connection to his players well-being. His dedication to constructing deep, genuine, trustworthy relationships with the people he lead are lessons everyone can learn from. An outstanding book that is filled with so many nuggets of gold like "be quick but don't hurry." My copy has been through the wringer with the highlighter marks starting to fade. A fun read that's more like a collection of short stories and stand alone thoughts. These lessons  stand the test of time. Just like the fundamentals Wooden was famous for teaching.

Row The Boat-Jon Gordon & PJ Fleck Purchase on Amazon

This book was given to me for my birthday by someone I highly respect. He said it “was my kind of book.” Not only in content but also in length. I believe I read this whole book on a 2.5 hour flight to Dallas from Boise. How it made the list or why it made the list has more to do with its simplicity and ease to read than anything else. Being involved in team sports for a majority of my life and being fortunate enough to play professionally for 16 years allowed me to see the truth in these pages. You don’t need to be part of a team or play sports to enjoy this book. If you like underdog stories, battles of will or feats that believers accomplish when they “row the boat” together, this is a must. I believe it’s a great read for parents, players and coaches as a “how to” approach to maximize their time and efforts in team sports. The teachings are practical, tested and true. The architect of the “Row the Boat” culture, Coach PJ Fleck (Minnesota Football) has had a fascinating road to becoming head coach for the Golden Gopher Football program. Going back all the way to his college days at Northern Illinois as an undersized receiver, to making an NFL roster (San Francisco 49ers) as a non drafted player, to eventually being forced to retire due to injury and move into coaching. This man has shades of Rudy Ruettiger woven in his very fiber.
His deep belief in the team and the capabilities of the group when everyone rows together is a mantra I have adopted and preach to the groups I am fortunate enough to lead. Jon Gordon has authored many books you have likely read at some point or heard of. His titles like The Energy Bus, Training Camp, The Carpenter and The Hard Hat have been best sellers and subjects of numerous leadership development trainings I have taken part in. These titles all have different stories but share some very similar teachings. These are the books I read to better understand the “secrets to success” are not a secret. My hope is that like me, one title completed inspires you to read the next title, then the next and the next. The books are so concentrated with learning opportunities that you may just stumble onto something that ends up changing your life positively. I know this book energized me at a time where my batteries felt low. Enjoy the read and try not to see the teachings in this book everywhere you go. Just remember that anyone can row, the secret lies in how many you have rowing in the same direction.

Chop Wood Carry Water- Joshua Medcalf  Purchase on Amazon

When I was growing up in Kamloops B.C. my father was the head coach of the Kamloops Blazers. I used to hear these 4 words everywhere, “Chop wood, carry water.” Unbeknownst to be at that time that this was the mantra that lead those mid 90’s hockey teams to 3 Memorial Cups in 4 seasons. As I was hearing these words, I did not have the awareness or depth of maturity to understand the teachings of such a simple phrase. I got older and with the aid of the internet took a deeper interest in those words. With equal parts ancient teachings and modern application, this phrase steadies us on whatever journey we are on as individuals. “On the path to enlightenment, one must chop wood and carry water. Once you have reached enlightenment, one must continue to chop wood and carry water."  While I will never be accused of being “enlightened," the concept hit me like a Matt Rempe punch to the jaw.
On the path to wherever it is you wish to go, you must develop the habits (chop wood, carry water) that will allow you to achieve them. Once you have reached that achievement, whether in your personal or professional avenues, you must maintain those details (chopping wood and carrying water.) When this book came across my Amazon recommendations, I literally froze like it was a sign from the heavens. I thought, ”finally, I am gonna put all the pieces together.” Wrong Darrell, wrong. My idea to find a quick fix that would provide the answer I was looking for was Fool's gold. Although it wasn’t the direct answer I was searching for, this book has become as valuable to me as any I have read. The 3 books that I have listed above are more like direct teachings. This book wasn’t like that. It is a novel of a young man who after witnessing the tragic accident of a loved one, decides to seek what it is he has dreamed of. It’s a majestic tale of a young man who departs on a journey half way across the world in search of his personal “enlightenment.” A story many of us can relate to or find inspiring. Based in Japan and centered around the old ways, this book literally has our protagonist chopping wood and carrying water. Joshua Medcalf takes you on an introspective ride through one man's quest to find the thing he really wants. Littered with life lessons, teaching points and valuable moments to reflect on, Chop Wood Carry Water delivers. While this book did not provide me with the instant "AHA" moment I was looking for, it has become a book that articulates everything we want in life is on the other side of the work it takes to achieve it. I hope it allows you to reflect on the habits and details of your life and hopefully get you one step closer to your own personal enlightenment.

If you have any recommendations of books that have helped you in your journey, I would love to add them to my library. Please reach out to me through email at [email protected] with the titles that you hold on to. Faded highlights and all. 🏒

Written by. Darrell Hay May.27/24

About the Author-  Although Darrell Hay has never appeared on the "New York Times Best Sellers List," he would like to pass along his sincere appreciation for taking the time to read this blog.  He understands that he will never be accused of being William Shakespeare but holds hope that somebody, somewhere gets something out of these collection of words that he puts together in this blog. He wishes to thank his English teachers at Brock Secondary for always encouraging his writing. This one is dedicated to them. Mr. Turner, Mr. Andrews & Mr. Stobie-Thank you for your investment into your students and for passing on the things you were passionate about. They are the same values that we take on the ice and try to pass along to our students, always conscious to "chop wood & carry water."