Things I Wish I Had Learned Earlier (Or Been Smart Enough to Listen to the First Time)

Hindsight is a funny thing. The older you get, the more you realize that some of the best advice you were ever given went in one ear and out the other. Whether it was stubbornness, youthful arrogance, or just plain ignorance, there are things I look back on now and shake my head at—things that would have made my life as a hockey player (and beyond) a whole lot easier. If I had just listened the first time…

So, in the spirit of helping the next generation avoid these same mistakes, here’s my list of things I wish I had figured out earlier.

 🏒 Get the Max Blade Width on Your Stick Blade

You ever see a guy in warmups taking passes and just fighting the puck like it’s trying to escape a hostage situation? Yeah, that guy used to be me. Turns out, getting the maximum allowable blade width on your stick actually helps with puck control, passing, and, oh yeah, scoring goals. A small detail, but hockey is a game of inches. Or, in this case, millimeters.

🏒 Stick Flex Actually Matters

For years, I thought stick flex was just another gimmick. I used a 110 flex Easton Ultralite because, well, it was what the big boys used. Never mind the fact that my upper body strength was comparable to a wet spaghetti noodle. A stick that could hold up four elephants wasn’t exactly helping me fire off quicker, harder shots. If I had dropped down to something I could actually flex, maybe I would have scored more and looked less like I was taking clappers with a 2x4.

 🏒 Hard Coaching Isn’t a Bad Thing

There’s a reason why coaches push you. The ones who get on you the hardest? Usually, they’re the ones who see your potential better than you do. I used to take every bag skate, every yelling session, every hard practice personally. What I didn’t realize at the time was that the best coaches don’t waste their energy on players they don’t think have a future. If they’re pushing you, it’s because they believe in you.

 🏒 Goal Setting & Self-Improvement Matter

For years, I thought “working hard” was enough. But without direction, effort is just running in circles. Learning how to set goals—real, actionable goals—could have taken my game to another level. Reading books (without pictures), listening to podcasts, seeking out mentors—there’s an entire world of tools to help maximize your potential, and I wish I had started using them earlier.

 🏒 The Art of Mastering the Details

The best players don’t just play the game, they study it. Watching tape isn’t about counting how many times you touched the puck—it’s about seeing what great players do and figuring out how to duplicate it. Edge work, stick positioning, knowing systems inside and out, studying your opponent’s tendencies—these little things separate the good from the great. And asking for help? Yeah, that’s a strength, not a weakness.

 🎧 Listening to Experience

I used to think I knew everything because I was around people who knew everything. Having an NHL coach as a dad meant I got to sit in on conversations in rooms where real hockey minds broke down strategy. I thought that just being there meant I was absorbing it all, like osmosis. Nope. That information wasn’t mine—I hadn’t earned it. Knowledge isn’t something you inherit; it’s something you chase down.

 🧘‍♂️ Stretching, Yoga, and Hip Mobility—So I Could Still Walk at 44

I used to think yoga was for people who wore beaded bracelets and talked about "energy." Now? I’d trade my left skate for a little extra mobility. After 850+ pro games, my body sounds like a popcorn machine every time I move. Stretching, yoga, and mobility work aren’t just for show—they’re the reason guys have long careers. Young me thought it was a waste of time. Older me thinks young me was an idiot.

  ⏰ Be on Time (Actually, Be Early)

Showing up “on time” means you’re already late. The best pros I played with were always the first guys at the rink. They weren’t rushing to tape their sticks five minutes before warmups—they were already dialed in. Being early isn’t just about logistics; it’s about mindset.

 🏒 This Game Owes You Nothing

You can do everything right and still get cut. You can train harder than anyone and still not make the team. Hockey doesn’t owe you anything—no matter how much you love it, no matter how much time you put in. But if you truly love the game, you’ll put in the work anyway.

 🏒 Want vs. Will

This game rewards competitors. Everyone wants to be great, but how many are actually willing to do what it takes? The best don’t just go hard when they feel like it—they go hard every single time. Yogi Berra said that "baseball (sports) is 90% mental. The other half is physical."  The true greats are willing to skate full speed toward a finish line that doesn’t even exist yet. Are you?

Final Thoughts

If I could go back and give my younger self this list, maybe I’d have saved myself some growing pains. But then again, hockey is a game of lessons—some you learn the easy way, most you learn the hard way. Wisdom is earned by going through it—there’s no shortcut. Every time you come up short, you’re one step closer to getting it right. Experience isn’t given; it’s built, rep by rep, until you’ve been through enough to know how to win. If you’re reading this and you’re still playing, maybe you can take something from it. Because if there’s one thing I do know now, it’s that the best players never stop learning. 🏒

 About the Author

Darrell Hay’s stubborn streak runs deep, courtesy of a Scottish heritage, an Aries birthday, and an undying commitment to the relentless pursuit of perfection. He’s spent a lifetime around hockey—playing it, coaching it, and learning (eventually) that great players don’t just hear their coaches, they listen to their every word. Whether it’s mastering the small details of the game or firmly believing that Batman is superior to Superman—because if you're going to have a day job, being a billionaire with a Batcave and cool gadgets seems like a much better gig than pretending to be a journalist. 🦇💰 Darrell believes that if you’re going to do something, do it all the way.